The One And Only... Thank You Lord!!!!!

Thank you lord for this new day...

Thank you for the exhaustion I feel because it signifies that I had a productive day yesterday..
Thank you for allowing me another day to continue working on making a better me...
Thank you for the pain and depression I may feel because it signifies that I still have a heart...
Thank you for the chores I have to do because it means I have a roof over my head...
Thank you for my hearing because it means I can hear my daughters say Mommy...
Thank you for the strength I feel, because I will have the ability to overcome what today brings..
Thank you for all those who want to see me fall because it means I will be more victorious when I overcome any obstacles you may present me today..
Thank you for all those who encourage me because it means the world is not all that bad..

Thank you Lord for being there for me, for lifting me up when I think I can't keep on.. .
For giving me the strength to keep on keeping on..

Thank you for my daughters, my home, my job, my pain, my happiness, my friends, my family, my enemies, my weaknesses, my strengths, my worries; thank you Lord for every breath that I take...

God Bless All those who need your blessing...

Keep all those close to you even when they seem to distance themselves from you.

Thank you Lord.

Imperfected Character....

Have so much to say and no words in the dictionary that I can use to express these thoughts or emotions running through my veins.

I check myself on a reg basis... Asking what I can do today to change something that may need changing... Not in the world; in me....

Knowing my strengths does not mean I think I am superior to anyone else.
Knowing my limits does not mean I think I am inferior to anyone else.

Knowing me just simply means I am me; I am where I am supposed to be in life and will get where I want to be when God feels it is my time to be where I should be....

Having a College degree does not make me smarter or full of wisdom ...
Having gone through all the experiences good and bad throughout my life have given me the smarts and wisdom I have at this precise moment....
This does not mean I did not make many mistakes or that I will not continue to make mistakes...
It simply means that I have acknowledged my errors; learned from them and do my very best not to repeat them....

I live with no regrets.

I am an opinionated person yet feel that I lack self expression... I understand me; however others don't...

I have learned that although I can change something about me in order to be a better me it does not mean I will be liked or loved by anyone or everyone; just simply means I will like me more than I did before the change....

I have acknowledged today that I can not and will not continue to lessen myself to make others feel better about themselves...

I wont lay low so that others can feel high and mighty...
I will continue to express myself courteously when I feel the need to...
I will not expect much from others so that I am not disappointed and maybe; just maybe with no expectations I will be pleasantly surprised by what others do or say....
If not; oh well... that's life...

But I am me... Simply Me... with all my imperfections... with all my words and silence.. with all my stress and anxieties... I am me.. Simply me... No better than you, nor you no better than me...

Simply Me... Not Perfect... Just Mari....

Born Day...

So today is my birthday and well... it was pretty nice..
I thank all those who sent birthday wishes and gave me gifts.
It's a good day, I have my daughters who are healthy and strong.
I have my job; best boss and coworkers around.
Had a great luncheon at work and spend time with friends.
Came home and had a surprise cake and balloons.
I am grateful for all this; trust me I am.

But I sit here and the scent of you does not disappear.
I taste you still on my lips, feel your arms around me and see your eyes smiling lovingly at me.
The day would have ended perfectly if it were you holding me tonight.

Ughh.. A girl can't have everything now can she....

My born day...
My heart breaks...
I wish you too were here with us to celebrate...

one of these days... I can only keep hoping I guess...

Till then... I am thankful for my daughters who keep me grounded everyday...

Your Nothingness Makes me Famous......

Blahhhhh..... That is the word of the week.

I am so tired of dealing with the nonsense I deal with on a reg.
I am fed up with the bullshit that people seem to think I have to swallow.

Don't confuse my kindness for weakness nor my eagerness to avoid you as a cop out.
I just truly know myself, my capabilities and refusal to allow those of you that cannot begin to reach the bottom of my feet bring me down.

Sit around and talk the shit you must to get you through your non-existence.
Enjoy your ignorant laughs and made up stories.
If talking shit about me makes you feel better about how you look, what you do, your mothering, your domestication or lack thereof, then by all means continue to do so.

Not you or your little sidekicks will ever have the tits to step to me.
I have too much class to stoop to your level so keep making me famous.

The recklessness of your mouth is no battle for me.. I walk with my head up high and proud of who I am. Happy that I must be all that and then some if you are so threatened by me.

High school shit for sure. I am way too beyond that.

So while you spend your day on your couch trying to figure out how to pass the time of nothingness in your life and you find that making up stories about me while I work, mother, and live is a good pass time..... Remember this >>>> Making me famous wont help you get ahead in life, you will be left unsatisfied as you see no response from me other than continuing to do me, be me, get ahead and watch you watching me... lmfao ... Keep inhaling the dust I leave behind as I achieve my every goal... wipe the tears from you eyes....

A New York Minute

So I did not go anywhere yesterday.
I stayed home and cleaned and then watched movies with my daughters.
It was cool to just stay home and chill with them.
Today is another day and I must get up and get a whole lot of stuff done.
Sundays should be a family outing day, but I always end up having to run errands, do laundry, help with homework and prepare for another week of school and work...
I love my life, don't get me wrong, the scheme of it gets too routine.
The summer is coming and I really want to enjoy it with my girls.
Life is too short, there is so much to do and enjoy and so little time.
This city life is not all that it is cracked up to be.
Yes, I keep it all together well, but sometimes I just want to scream and run away.
Go to a new far away place and start fresh, start anew and see how it turns out.
Blahhhh....
Well I guess it will have to wait, one of these days we will break out of this city routine of a NY minute and get a chance to just slow down and smell the flowers, hopefully I'm not smelling them while laying underneath them.. lmfao...

Well, time to get a start on the many things to get done today and in the midst of all the madness I always stop to give my girls a smooch and tell them "Mommy loves you".....

Peace out for now...

Random

I found myself free falling
into a world wind of emotions
find myself calling
asking for your undivided devotion
going through the motions
can't you see
or do you not want to believe
that it is true
I fell for you
why is it so hard to understand
that you are the one
the one I want to call my man

Simply Rambling

My thoughts are ranting and raving
My soul shouting in silence
No body knows
The emotions that flow through my heart and soul
The words that cross my mind
And spread across these lines
Are rantings of my being
Not wanting to be seen
In this enslavement of darkness
You ask me why
Why don't I cry or sigh?
Because I am simply me
don't you see
maybe you should delve into my history
Try and comprehend where the rave comes in
live my life the way I choose is that a sin
Do no harm onto others
Be the best that I can be as a mother
Be a friend, not just a lover
But I am me
Simply Me... Human nevertheless
I rant and rave in silence
This is my essence
So my soul rants
and my mind raves
This is what you want
This is what you crave.....

Simply Me - Mari (c)